Are you Dating Mr. Right? 2 Questions to ask Yourself before “I Do”

Who Should I Date #3Today we conclude our dating series by talking about the guy you can give the Green Light too!  If you missed the last 2 days we discussed Yellow Light guys and Red Light guys.

If you are already married or engagedplease stay with us!!!   I want your insight at the end of this post! 

green lightLet’s start by defining a Green Light Guy:

He is a high quality man! 

You should have moments where you are so overwhelmed by his love for Jesus, integrity, hard work ethic, and the wonderful way he treats you that you find yourself squealing “Is this for real?”

I love how God gives good gifts to His children.  The man you decide to marry should feel exactly like that, a good gift, the sweetest gift you have received besides salvation.

I remember being amazed at how incredible my husband is.  He loves God and has walked with Him faithfully and purely for years. He is a leader and respected by others.  He is also a hard worker, intelligent and gifted in areas that I am weak in like math and finances.  If I have to spend 10 minutes with a math problem you may find me in the fetal position on the floor. So how fitting that God would give me a spouse who works on our budget for fun on Friday nights.

If you are reading this saying, yes, yes and yes…that is the man I am dating – than wooohooo!  I can’t wait to see the ring, and hear the proposal story and hear what colors you are going to use at your wedding…and eeeeeekkkk!…..

….But before we get into all that awesome girlie shrieking stuff, I want you to ask yourself  2 Questions, before giving any man the green light to your heart.

1.  Have we experienced all four seasons together? 

I remember there being a point in my dating relationship with my husband that I started wondering…”what is TAKING SO LONG!!!!” 

I was fairly certain we both knew we wanted to get married and yet there had been no proposal.  Except for when he kneeled down, on the sidewalk, held out his clenched fist and said “hey I got you this rock.”

The word, “YES!” was about to fly off my tongue when he opened his hand to reveal…

a gray, dusty, rock, not the shiny kind you put on a band…

a rock he had picked up on the road…

ha, ha…not funny – ok, maybe it was pretty funny – especially if you could have seen my crushed face when he opened his hand to reveal “the rock”

I didn’t know that my sweet husband wanted to propose, but he was having my ring custom designed and the process was taking a long time.

I can look back and see that season of what seemed like FOREVER, God was allowing us to walk through every season of life together.  These seasons strengthened our relationship and commitment to each other. 

Spring Sunset on lakeSummer:   The season which brings joy, fun and rest.  This is the season that most dating couples begin with.  There are butterflies and warm gushy feelings. It is easy to enjoy eachother because every moment feels like it is dripping in hot fudge (that’s my idea of a happy time=)

leafFall:  Leaves change in the fall along with our schedules which usually increase in responsibilities and activities.  When you are able to encourage, support, and create intentional space for each other in the midst of a busy season you are practicing an important skill that you will need in marriage.

snowWinter:  This season represents hardship and storms.   If we are able to not only “tolerate” eachother in a time of trial or crises but actually experience an increase in love and commitment to our guy even in the hardest of situations, this will foster in us a commited heart that you will need for a covenant marriage.

springSpring:  If you have made if through a difficult season together, you will be ready for the freshness of spring!  The spring season comes after the earth has laid dormant and endured the harshness of wintertime.  When you have endured a difficult season together and thrived even in the midst of it, you will find new layers of growth in your relationship.  There will be hope and confidence in facing the future together, because you have successfully seen eachother in each season of life.

2.  Is your relationship –  physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually –

producing the fruit of the Spirit?

strawberriesGalations 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

My prayer before meeting my husband was that I would be stronger for Christ with my future husband than without him.  We could both confidently say before we got married that together in a covenant marriage we could advance the Kingdom of God further, than without each other.

– Are you both being drawn closer to Jesus through your dating relationship?

–  Is there an increase in the fruit of the Spirit in both of your lives?

–  Can you and others can see the ways that God will use your strengths to work together to live out your calling in the Kingdom of God?

If the answer to these questions is YES, than go for it!  Say yes, when he gives you that rock (just make sure its the sparkly kind)!  And I can’t wait to hear about it!

Additional Resources:

Boundaries – Henry Cloud and John Townsend               Date or Soul Mate – Neil Clark Warren


(Note:  Clarity with Charity is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to These are my amazon affiliate links, if you should decide to buy them, I receive a tiny percentage.)


Purity and Waiting –  Erin James

13 Steps to Successful Dating – Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Set Free From Compromise – Bekah Hamrick Martin

I would love to hear the ideas of ALL our readers, whether you are single, dating, engaged or have been married 30 years.  There is so much wisdom needed in this area, please take a moment to share: What is the best piece of dating advice you were ever given?  Any resources (books, blog posts ect..) that you would recommend about the topic?



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